Imaginings

I am going through my things, books, CDs, photos, knick knacks--trying to figure out what I don't need. Aside from realizing that I have spent the majority of my life collecting ridiculous bits, I came across an old CD mix the other day. Years ago, when I was in my MA program, this boy that I knew gave me a mix. I don't remember why or if he gave it to others (mostly because those days are a haze of ethical dilemmas, Max-Alerts, bad decisions, and martinis), but I do remember the boy. I always suspected that he had a bit of a crush on me--but he wasn't my type. Nice, scientist, kinda skinny, very logical and quiet...

Anyway, I come across this old mix, and I listen to it. And I'm wondering if there was more to this mix than I ever imagined. My friend--whom I also knew back then--tells me that I am displacing. Imagining that there is more to this little conglomeration of songs (about love and beauty and heartbreak and temptation), instead of paying attention to details of the present. Regardless of my doubtful friend's psycho-analytic diagnoses, I imagine there was (there always is) alot more to that sweet, quiet med student than I ever noticed, maybe...

Either way, it's interesting (sad, a little, but interesting, too) to think about things we maybe miss... for whatever reason. Because we're young and stupid. Because we're swimming in martinis. Because we're distracted or disbelieving or angry.

I imagine that boy is well and still reads poetry. That he still listens to good music and has someone beautiful and kind to share his favorite songs with.