Light-headed,
I am holding my breath.
I am waiting for you.

I cannot think.
I am Useless and Bitter, and I cannot think.
I used to be better at seeing you.
I used to be better at saving you.

Trying to keep myself busy, I am mixing magic.
It is time-consuming,
all-hands
all-fingers
concentration.
The stirring must be constant.
The temperatures, precise.

I will cast a spell.
And after you wake, we will drink syrupy sweet, iced tea.
It will be summer.
You will be tired and beautiful.

Trying to keep myself busy, I practice war.
Running,
I stretch my arms over my head.
and pull my hair out by the roots.
I will discard the extra;
I will become
Limitless and omnipotent,
And I will pull you out of the abyss.

I stand, feet wide apart:
I am a remorseless Samurai.
I brace myself for the onslaught:
I am a bloodthirsty Viking.
I build a fortress out of rage:
I am a righteous God.

I am holding my breath,
I am waiting for you.