But today I am feeling better. After sleeping for, like 20 hours, I am eating some chicken soup and watching "Goonies." Just like when I was ten.
The only thing I need now is my mom.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Friday, March 7, 2008
Things about Politics
Behold... a metaphor for the upcoming election: "I am interested in watching the primaries in the same way a prisoner sentenced to life without parole would be interested in watching how the prison guards change shifts." That's from my friend's blog, Progymnasmata. Now, I don't Completely Agree with this. Most of the time.
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Another website that makes me laugh
Is cracked.com. (Thanks to M for the rec!)
Reasons to read this website:
1) They love lists.
2) They love words.
3) They love making fun of people who are famous or pompous or annoying (or all three).
And here's the real kicker:
4) Dude, they love zombies.
Here are some delicious examples (for your reading pleasure):
5 Scientific Reasons a Zombie Apocalypse Could Actually Happen (I'm telling you, investing in a crossbow might not be the worst idea you ever had. Although, as Max Brooks says, blades don't need reloading.)
The Top 25 Men Who Look Like Old Lesbians (Ha! Bruce Jenner!)
10 Words and Phrases You Won't Believe Shakespeare Invented (Please notice the translation of "Hot-Blooded" and try not to cry laughing).
The Gruesome Origins of 5 Popular Fairy Tales (Fairy tales are creepy. Like politics.)
There's also a really hilarious article about what Valentine's Day cards would say if they were honest. But I don't have a link to that one, so you can just search. You're welcome.
Reasons to read this website:
1) They love lists.
2) They love words.
3) They love making fun of people who are famous or pompous or annoying (or all three).
And here's the real kicker:
4) Dude, they love zombies.
Here are some delicious examples (for your reading pleasure):
5 Scientific Reasons a Zombie Apocalypse Could Actually Happen (I'm telling you, investing in a crossbow might not be the worst idea you ever had. Although, as Max Brooks says, blades don't need reloading.)
The Top 25 Men Who Look Like Old Lesbians (Ha! Bruce Jenner!)
10 Words and Phrases You Won't Believe Shakespeare Invented (Please notice the translation of "Hot-Blooded" and try not to cry laughing).
The Gruesome Origins of 5 Popular Fairy Tales (Fairy tales are creepy. Like politics.)
There's also a really hilarious article about what Valentine's Day cards would say if they were honest. But I don't have a link to that one, so you can just search. You're welcome.
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Form of: An Abyss
I could write something about how disappointed I am that the Clintons continue their devastation of the Democratic party (and any chances it might have of putting a sort-of-left-thinking-person in the Oval Office). But instead, I will just post a link to this eerily prescient analogy between Hillary Clinton and "Scream"'s Billy Loomis. Politics is a horror movie, people.
On another (and more hopeful) note, I was just re-watching the scene from "Once" in which the main characters are sitting in the piano shop, singing "Falling Slowly." And it makes me feel better about several things--politics (for no real reason), the possibility of love (abyss included), the impossibility of love (and how accidentally/possibly finding yourself In It may not always Be So Bad), the ephemeral quality of real connection (beautiful and momentary like lightning bugs or Christmas lights or a really cold, super-delicious martini), the fact that ephemerality makes those moments good (because watching lightning bugs in summer trees is even better than Christmas lights and martinis put together).
On another (and more hopeful) note, I was just re-watching the scene from "Once" in which the main characters are sitting in the piano shop, singing "Falling Slowly." And it makes me feel better about several things--politics (for no real reason), the possibility of love (abyss included), the impossibility of love (and how accidentally/possibly finding yourself In It may not always Be So Bad), the ephemeral quality of real connection (beautiful and momentary like lightning bugs or Christmas lights or a really cold, super-delicious martini), the fact that ephemerality makes those moments good (because watching lightning bugs in summer trees is even better than Christmas lights and martinis put together).
Sunday, March 2, 2008
We all talk the same
I just got back from a trip to northern Virginia—where my cousin lives with his wife and their daughter. It was a super-fun vacation for several reasons, which I have listed (oh-so-thoughtfully) below.
1) This is my favorite cousin. He is smart and fast and sarcastic and wonderful. We are a year apart, age-wise, and we grew up being mistaken for twins (because we look similar, because we act similarly, because we talk the same, because we laugh at the same things). It was good to see him again, and it was good to be with an old friend who’s not afraid to remind me, periodically, that I am still the same ridiculous five year old I was back-in-the-day—official sounding degrees and titles notwithstanding.
2) GOT TO GO TO MANNASSAS. I am a historian in disguise, so seeing the field of Manasses (or, as we call it correctly in the South, Bull Run) was a marvelous treat. My cousin and his family live about 15 miles away from the battlefield park, and he was kind enough to drive me to the site so that I could geek out over the monuments and the stories. There was a pretty cool movie at the beginning, narrated by Richard Dreyfuss (mmmm, Stand By Me references). Also, the field is huge. Virginians, as you may or may not know, are very excited about being from Virginia, and you cannot swing a sneaker in Virginia without hitting a Civil War monument of some kind. That said, they are better at preserving old hysterical markers than a lot of other Southern places (for the being excited part, as well as the cashflow into those areas—but that’s another story entirely).
3) Got to read and hear a lot about Stonewall Jackson. Please see pictures below. Bull Run (or First Manasses, you Yankee freaks) was where he got his nickname—his actual name was Thomas Jonathan Jackson. This is kind of a big deal for me. I am from the South, and it is a very Southern thing to claim some sort of relation to one or another Southern general. In my family, it’s Stonewall (oh my god, thank you that it’s not Nathan Bedford Forrest, that fucknut bitch). We are, according to my dear and earnest mother, related to Stonewall’s niece or nephew or something. (He had a daughter, but she died as an infant. And he himself was killed by friendly fire outside of Chancellorsville in 1863—just fyi). Anyway—yea for close AND distant family!
This is the monument to Stonewall. It is very tall.
This is my dear cousin standing in front of the monument. He is not as excited about Stonewall as I am. Different sides of the family, you see...
And this is Me and Stonewall!!! It was very windy, but I did not mind.
4) Got to meet my new cousin. She will be two and a half this week, and she is fucking brilliant. Runs in the family.
5) Got to see my dear uncle and aunt that I never get to see. I was a surprise for them—and it was marvelous to laugh with them again.
6) Got to ride a train again… which is always awesome.
7) Got to see Undercover Brother—possibly my new favorite movie. Favorite excerpt:
Conspiracy Brother (played by Dave Chappelle): “Somebody get me a pillowcase—I’m joining the Klan.”
8) Got mistaken for a local: we went to walk around this cute little historical town called Middleburg (which I kept calling Middle Earth, much to my dear cousin’s chagrin). At one of the stores, the lady behind the counter mistook me.
Lady: Your face is familiar. You’ve been in here before, right?
Me: Well, actually, no. But I am related to some people that live here, and they have probably brought other members of my family in.
Lady: Oh, really? How nice.
Me: Yeah. We all kind of look alike. You know--big head, big teeth, kinda intense.
Lady: (noncommittal grunt)
1) This is my favorite cousin. He is smart and fast and sarcastic and wonderful. We are a year apart, age-wise, and we grew up being mistaken for twins (because we look similar, because we act similarly, because we talk the same, because we laugh at the same things). It was good to see him again, and it was good to be with an old friend who’s not afraid to remind me, periodically, that I am still the same ridiculous five year old I was back-in-the-day—official sounding degrees and titles notwithstanding.
2) GOT TO GO TO MANNASSAS. I am a historian in disguise, so seeing the field of Manasses (or, as we call it correctly in the South, Bull Run) was a marvelous treat. My cousin and his family live about 15 miles away from the battlefield park, and he was kind enough to drive me to the site so that I could geek out over the monuments and the stories. There was a pretty cool movie at the beginning, narrated by Richard Dreyfuss (mmmm, Stand By Me references). Also, the field is huge. Virginians, as you may or may not know, are very excited about being from Virginia, and you cannot swing a sneaker in Virginia without hitting a Civil War monument of some kind. That said, they are better at preserving old hysterical markers than a lot of other Southern places (for the being excited part, as well as the cashflow into those areas—but that’s another story entirely).
3) Got to read and hear a lot about Stonewall Jackson. Please see pictures below. Bull Run (or First Manasses, you Yankee freaks) was where he got his nickname—his actual name was Thomas Jonathan Jackson. This is kind of a big deal for me. I am from the South, and it is a very Southern thing to claim some sort of relation to one or another Southern general. In my family, it’s Stonewall (oh my god, thank you that it’s not Nathan Bedford Forrest, that fucknut bitch). We are, according to my dear and earnest mother, related to Stonewall’s niece or nephew or something. (He had a daughter, but she died as an infant. And he himself was killed by friendly fire outside of Chancellorsville in 1863—just fyi). Anyway—yea for close AND distant family!
This is the monument to Stonewall. It is very tall.
This is my dear cousin standing in front of the monument. He is not as excited about Stonewall as I am. Different sides of the family, you see...
And this is Me and Stonewall!!! It was very windy, but I did not mind.4) Got to meet my new cousin. She will be two and a half this week, and she is fucking brilliant. Runs in the family.
5) Got to see my dear uncle and aunt that I never get to see. I was a surprise for them—and it was marvelous to laugh with them again.
6) Got to ride a train again… which is always awesome.
7) Got to see Undercover Brother—possibly my new favorite movie. Favorite excerpt:
Conspiracy Brother (played by Dave Chappelle): “Somebody get me a pillowcase—I’m joining the Klan.”
8) Got mistaken for a local: we went to walk around this cute little historical town called Middleburg (which I kept calling Middle Earth, much to my dear cousin’s chagrin). At one of the stores, the lady behind the counter mistook me.
Lady: Your face is familiar. You’ve been in here before, right?
Me: Well, actually, no. But I am related to some people that live here, and they have probably brought other members of my family in.
Lady: Oh, really? How nice.
Me: Yeah. We all kind of look alike. You know--big head, big teeth, kinda intense.
Lady: (noncommittal grunt)
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