Hello, Fenway!

How're things with you? I have been sort of busy lately--hence the sparse (and fairly unimaginative) posts. However, dear reader, there have been some pretty awesome developments over the last few days that I feel I should share with you. I don't want to be too obvious, but they rhyme with: I got to go to Fenway.




Go ahead. Be jealous.






Things to notice about the picture?
A) My kickin new Red Sox hoody.
B) The Green Monster
C) The fact that I am standing in fucking Fenway stadium.

It was a marvelous, last-minute trip. We rode the Fung Wah bus to Boston. For $15. Seriously. And then we had dinner at this great little Italian restaurant in the North End (I had the chicken saltimbocca--I am kind of an idiot for things-with-prosciutto-in-them). And then we went to Fenway, which was packed. All the seats were full, all the beer was cold, all the music was awesome.

My grandmother was a huge Red Sox fan. She believed, however, that she was bad luck for the team, so she stopped going to games later in life. I am hoping that it is not genetic, but my boys (especially Josh Beckett) did not look so good. I will have to test the theory and see another game. I am sincerely hoping that it is not genetic because Fenway is my favorite stadium, so far.

And Boston, with its lobster rolls and its long, flat vowels and its delicious water front is a place I'd like to visit again. Soon. For $15.

And a New Crush Begins...

Thanks, Y, for providing me with such crushalicious material!!

I was talking with an old friend the other night

She worries. I have many friends who do this--it's sort of a built-in reaction to stress. Now, I'm not gonna lie and tell you that I don't worry... Ha! Silly reader. What I am gonna tell you is that worry is not my first built-in reaction; anger is. Worry comes after I have some time to think about the rage.

Here's a reenactment:
(Scene opens, movie theatre, popcorn crunching, movie sucking. We see our hero, james, watching Crash.)

Next scene (our hero, contemplating life and art over a bowl of yogurt and fruit)
Voiceover: "Well, Crash sucked. Like super-suck. But I know, in my heart of hearts, that despite its nomination for Best Picture, it will not win because (a) Broke Back Mountain is so clearly superior in every way; and (b) Hollywood cannot reward itself for being stupid and white and racist ALL THE TIME."

Third scene (james and friend are sitting at the Alamo Drafthouse, watching the Academy Awards and enjoying various delectable bits. james, and the majority of the audience, have bet that Broke Back Mountain will win over stupid, obvious, self-rewarding, hateful, poorly written, Paul-Haggis-can-blow-me Crash. We see Crash named as the Best Movie of the Year. james slams her hand down on the table in front of her and says (loudly): Balls.

Final scene--james rants and raves about the idiocy of the award to all who know her and some who don't. Up until, um, right now.

The End

See? No worry. Just rage. Which, in this particular situation, is totally called for. My friends over at The Geek Prospectus agree.

Sometimes, though, I find myself wondering about the force (and justifiability) of my angry reactions. Like, I was just reading another dear friend's blog about marriage the other day. And, the post itself bothers me a little bit (dear Joshie is such a romantic), but some of the comments themselves really irked me more. Is it because some of the comments seem to come from the mouths of smug marrieds? Is it because, deep down, I agree with Joshie and am just turning into an asshole? A disillusioned romantic? A rage-aholic? Is it the number of married men (lots and lots!!!!) and women I've met who are false? Is it the water in Bayside? Do I, really and truly, Not Believe in Marriage Anymore (menacing music and drums), or am I just a cynic?

Maybe it's the water. It's rage water, like in 28 Days Later, but with less monkeys and biting.

Today

is the day is the day is the day that my dear Dr. E! is coming to see me. I have several things to do before her arrival. One of them is dance for joy...

Ross is Awesome

I know this guy from Way Back When, and he is still wonderful...

Places I Would Rather Be

March in Arizona = Baseball, frozen lemonade and 80 degree weather

Another website that makes me laugh

Is cracked.com. (Thanks to M for the rec!)

Reasons to read this website:
1) They love lists.
2) They love words.
3) They love making fun of people who are famous or pompous or annoying (or all three).
And here's the real kicker:
4) Dude, they love zombies.

Here are some delicious examples (for your reading pleasure):

5 Scientific Reasons a Zombie Apocalypse Could Actually Happen (I'm telling you, investing in a crossbow might not be the worst idea you ever had. Although, as Max Brooks says, blades don't need reloading.)

The Top 25 Men Who Look Like Old Lesbians (Ha! Bruce Jenner!)

10 Words and Phrases You Won't Believe Shakespeare Invented (Please notice the translation of "Hot-Blooded" and try not to cry laughing).

The Gruesome Origins of 5 Popular Fairy Tales (Fairy tales are creepy. Like politics.)

There's also a really hilarious article about what Valentine's Day cards would say if they were honest. But I don't have a link to that one, so you can just search. You're welcome.

Form of: An Abyss

I could write something about how disappointed I am that the Clintons continue their devastation of the Democratic party (and any chances it might have of putting a sort-of-left-thinking-person in the Oval Office). But instead, I will just post a link to this eerily prescient analogy between Hillary Clinton and "Scream"'s Billy Loomis. Politics is a horror movie, people.

On another (and more hopeful) note, I was just re-watching the scene from "Once" in which the main characters are sitting in the piano shop, singing "Falling Slowly." And it makes me feel better about several things--politics (for no real reason), the possibility of love (abyss included), the impossibility of love (and how accidentally/possibly finding yourself In It may not always Be So Bad), the ephemeral quality of real connection (beautiful and momentary like lightning bugs or Christmas lights or a really cold, super-delicious martini), the fact that ephemerality makes those moments good (because watching lightning bugs in summer trees is even better than Christmas lights and martinis put together).

Things Smart People Tell Me About

First example: Stuff White People Like--which may be my new favorite thing in the world. (Thank you to Jessica for the Awesome Reference.) Well, that and the page where you can see randomized Garfield cartoons (thanks to Steve the Weave for that one).

Second example: Apparently, the original Garfield site made every cartoon window into a separate, um, web thing--so, somebody who knows more about, um, web things than me wrote a program allowing the different windows to mesh. They're like cartoon mash-ups, and even though the actual site isn't up anymore (Boo), you can still see some old ones. These are some of the archived gems.

Read, laugh, talk amongst yourselves.