Tuesday, January 12, 2010

In Which I Submit some Strongly Worded Letters

Dear Weather.com,
I know I live in a place that is too cold when I get excited about a 40 degree day that may (or may not) happen in two to three days.
Also, what is up with the new layout? Different is bad; we fear change.

Balls on you, weather.com. Balls, I say.
Warmly,
A Misplaced Florida Cracker



Dear 30 Rock,
I know I am late to this game, but is there an episode of your show in which Alec Baldwin is not laugh-out-loud delicious? If there is, I don't want to know about it.
Love,
James



Dear Students-from-Last-Semester-who-are-Concerned-about-their-Final-Grades:
I wish that you had thought about this during the fall/early winter. Checking on your grades, visiting office hours, completing assignments--these are just some suggestions I have for your next few years in college. Sometimes, preemptive strikes are best.
Sincerely,
Dr. James



Dear Future Landlords,
I hope you are not as bat-shit crazy as my current landlords. It will make for less exciting stories, I know, but I am willing to make that sacrifice, if you are.
Best,
A Tenant with Too Many Books


Dear Schnapps,
This place just isn't the same without you.
Love.

No comments: