Wednesday, August 20, 2008

I was talking with an old friend the other night

She worries. I have many friends who do this--it's sort of a built-in reaction to stress. Now, I'm not gonna lie and tell you that I don't worry... Ha! Silly reader. What I am gonna tell you is that worry is not my first built-in reaction; anger is. Worry comes after I have some time to think about the rage.

Here's a reenactment:
(Scene opens, movie theatre, popcorn crunching, movie sucking. We see our hero, james, watching Crash.)

Next scene (our hero, contemplating life and art over a bowl of yogurt and fruit)
Voiceover: "Well, Crash sucked. Like super-suck. But I know, in my heart of hearts, that despite its nomination for Best Picture, it will not win because (a) Broke Back Mountain is so clearly superior in every way; and (b) Hollywood cannot reward itself for being stupid and white and racist ALL THE TIME."

Third scene (james and friend are sitting at the Alamo Drafthouse, watching the Academy Awards and enjoying various delectable bits. james, and the majority of the audience, have bet that Broke Back Mountain will win over stupid, obvious, self-rewarding, hateful, poorly written, Paul-Haggis-can-blow-me Crash. We see Crash named as the Best Movie of the Year. james slams her hand down on the table in front of her and says (loudly): Balls.

Final scene--james rants and raves about the idiocy of the award to all who know her and some who don't. Up until, um, right now.

The End

See? No worry. Just rage. Which, in this particular situation, is totally called for. My friends over at The Geek Prospectus agree.

Sometimes, though, I find myself wondering about the force (and justifiability) of my angry reactions. Like, I was just reading another dear friend's blog about marriage the other day. And, the post itself bothers me a little bit (dear Joshie is such a romantic), but some of the comments themselves really irked me more. Is it because some of the comments seem to come from the mouths of smug marrieds? Is it because, deep down, I agree with Joshie and am just turning into an asshole? A disillusioned romantic? A rage-aholic? Is it the number of married men (lots and lots!!!!) and women I've met who are false? Is it the water in Bayside? Do I, really and truly, Not Believe in Marriage Anymore (menacing music and drums), or am I just a cynic?

Maybe it's the water. It's rage water, like in 28 Days Later, but with less monkeys and biting.


Evan said...

Anything prospectus just ends up being good. Whether that be the 2008 baseball prospectus or a geek prospectus. All boss.

Also, if you're filled with rage I shutter to think what I might be. I end up looking like someone from paradise lost compared to you.

james said...

I heartily concur about the prospectus thing. Also and on a more optimistic note, I think mutually shared rage can be a pretty solid basis for a friendship, so we have that going for us, rage-buddy.

A.W.S. said...

Based off this metric, I'd say it's best not to piss you off.

Good news is that thus far you aren't (generally) violent in your rage. Of course, that might be because you don't have a bludgeon handy.

james said...

Those are good measures, I agree. But I have to say, AWS, being enraged about theory (Crash and marital mythology) is one thing and being enraged about shit that's beyond your control (like lost luggage, late flights, and tangled Christmas lights) is another thing entirely.

Justified rage at false/unkind conclusions = cool.
Unjustified rage at the universe = not-so-cool

K. said...

Having seen some delightful rages from you, I've gotta say - I love and miss your rage. First, it's good to know that you care enough about something to be enraged, outraged, or at least cranky. Second, you're beautiful when you're angry, at least as beautiful as when you're not. And third, having argued with a raging james, there's something to be said for knowing exactly where everyone stands. All these together make for good conversation, and burying the hatchet makes for a good reason to go to the bar.

The marriage thing made me rage-y, too. I wonder whether people without health insurance make those sorts of arguments.

Can't wait to see you. I'm sure we'll find something to fight about, and that thought makes me unutterably happy. Because then we can make up over cocktails, sure in our long friendship.

A.W.S. said...

I'd have to agree with that. By the way, here's a rage thing for ya from the world of debate. I wish I could hear what the speakers were talking about before the boom.

Me thinks this would fall into the un-cool side because no matter what the hell these two professors were thinking these debates (as I understand them) aren't about them at all. Though they seem to loose track of that.

A.W.S. said...

P.S. why the hell didn't someone remove those two during the lull?

james said...

K -- I Cannot Wait to see you. Travel safe and lovelovelove.

AWS -- 1) Ditto on the above.
2) That debate thing is something else. I heard about it in Tokyo (people were discussing possible methods of damage control), and I've met that guy before. We should chat about this in another format. Possible items on the agenda: what this might mean to the future of collegiate policy debate, performance v substance (or, what happens when someone else out-lefts you).

Anonymous said...

Let me explain something: if there are no monkeys, then it's not fucking rage water.

james said...

Sometimes Anonymous drinks rage water, too.

A.W.S. said...

apparently, tigers have something to do with rage water too.

james said...

Now that's just kind of eerie.

Anonymous said...

I like your rage. It is always unexpected and inappropriate in the way rage should be.

I like marriage. It is also unexpected and inappropriate the way marriage should be.

You will always be drawn to things that are unexpected and inappropriate.