1) Like an Alabama football game, it's got elephant mascots, mindless cheering, hand-written signs, and lots of sweaty white people. Unlike an Alabama football game, it's got, like, three black people, square state accents, and only a few baseball caps.
2) Governor Palin reminds me of Kirstie "Amer-I-Can!" Alley's character in "Drop Dead Gorgeous."
3) Rudy Giuliani has the cutest little lisp.
4) I wonder if Vegas is working on an over-under for November?
5) This just in!!! Apparently, victory in Iraq is finally in sight. Phew--I was getting worried.